Should I request a teacher change?

When should I request for a different teacher?


I have been in this situation before, knowing that my daughter was in a classroom where the teacher obviously did NOT WANT Mariah in her classroom! It is a weird position to be in as a parent, to know your son or daughter’s teacher doesn't want or like them in their classroom. As parents, we do the best we can to provide our Child with what we can and what we think is best for them but when it comes to who they get as their new teacher...well...we as parents don't really have any say so about it, do we… We trust that ALL teachers will be good to our Children and teach ALL the students they are given in their classrooms with equal opportunity to be successful at that grade level. Who picks which students will go into which teacher’s classroom? How do any of us know if the teacher or teachers our Children get at the beginning of a new school year are going to be good teachers....for our Children? We don't and we just have to trust and accept that all or most are good teachers.


My daughter has been attending school since she was 2 years old and every teacher has always been open to conversations with me and friendly. Every teacher has always spoken to me or written notes that were sent home in her backpack. Right from the start of the new school year, Mariah’s 3rd grade teacher did all she could to not make eye contact with me anytime I was on campus. It was upsetting to me that, gosh darn it...why wouldn't she look at me or engage in any form of friendly conversation? Why would my daughter’s teacher not want to be friendly to me? I did all I could to make sure I smiled at her when I saw her. There was just something about this teacher that made it obvious that she was not going to get to know me or provide me with much communication! …Especially anything pertaining to things I wrote about in my daughter’s daily planner that went back and forth between school and home. Anytime I wrote something, she either didn't respond back or it was the most minimal response back. Nothing more nothing less...she actually responded like she seemed to be annoyed when I wrote in the planner about anything! It almost made me want to write in the planner even more every day, just to see how she responded to my concern or a question I may have had about something. Very frustrating for me just trying to get my daughter’s teacher to work with me! What was up with this teacher?!


Mariah has Down syndrome and the biggest impact of her disability is her fine motor skills especially pertaining to her being able to write words and sentences and her articulation, her ability to speak clearly, how she says her words so others understand what she’s talking about. Mariah couldn’t come home from school and tell me what she did in school like most girls her age could. My daughter's 3rd grade teacher was my first experience dealing with a teacher that didn't provide any collaboration and communication with me about how my little girl was doing in her classroom or what or how she did on classroom assignments. Thank God Mariah had a wonderful Para Professional or some districts call that person a Unique Aide, this person was there to assistant Mariah for everything throughout her entire school day. It seemed at times that this teacher thought maybe she didn’t have to teach or work with my daughter because Mariah did have the support of her own Para. Mariah’s 3rd grade teacher didn’t expect much from my daughter or have high expectations of her abilities. She had a negative attitude towards my daughter and was super stand offish towards me. This teacher never should have been assigned to be my daughter’s teacher or assigned any student with unique learning challenges! I wonder if she was mad that she was assigned the only student with Down syndrome on the school campus. Bet she didn’t volunteer or request to have her either!


The school year progressed and several months went by, almost half of her 3rd grade year had gone by and still this teacher just wasn't providing any communication and/or any collaboration with me. The communication was what it was with this teacher. I can't change the funky personality traits of my daughter’s teachers, but I can put in my request for a teacher change! The first time I did this, was with this 3rd grade teacher. I was nervous about it and I didn't really want to have to do this or pull my daughter from a classroom of peers that were wonderful classmates to her!


Each school year Mariah always seems to have a SPARKLER STUDENT that enjoys and wants to be Mariah’s helper. Any parent of a Child with Special needs would love to make sure their parents knew just how helpful and kind their Child is and how much they are appreciated for being so helpful and kind! Mariah had one particular boy student that was always so helpful with her, at times a little too helpful. Well at least in this classroom she had great classmates that liked her! Mariah’s classmates did for her what this teacher probably should have been doing all along and that was…giving her attention and believing in her! I received more feedback from her little classmates that year than this teacher ever knew possible! I found out how she over looked my daughter many times when Mariah raised her hand to answer questions in class, how she would never call on her. Did this teacher think the other students didn’t see and have feelings for what they themselves saw was going on in her classroom? I found out she only called on the smarter students most of the time….she had her favorites she called on all the time. This teacher did a great job making my little girl feel LEFT OUT and not good enough to be called on in class! I wish I could do a cancel erase and rewind to undo all the damage she did to my daughter's self-esteem that year. A good teacher would have called on my daughter no matter if her speech was unclear or if Mariah had the right or wrong answer! No matter what….this teacher should have been teaching by providing positive praise and including Mariah and some of the other students all along!


I attended the FIELD-DAY and saw with my own eyes how this teacher played favorites and let the same group of students participate in certain Field-Day activities. I saw with my own eyes how this teacher acted so cold and uncaring not only towards my little girl, but towards most of her students. Even though I was the only Volunteer parent that attended from her class, she still refused to make any friendly conversation with me and always avoided any eye contact the entire time I was volunteering that day! How can a teacher totally ignore a Volunteering parent….let alone some of her students day in and day out? She made me fell unimportant...she made me feel rejected. I was there to help and encourage the students! I was there to have fun with the students! I was there to help and be involved in my daughter's education! 


When I saw the same group of ‘favorite students’ being able to participate in the famous on our campus and much anticipated TUG-O-WAR event, I felt in the pit of my stomach how it must have made those ‘excluded students’ feel. I walked over to be in the shade of nearby tree because it was getting to be hotter by the minute outside in the Florida sunshine that morning. I sat down in the shade and looked at the handful of students that I knew didn’t get to participate in the TUG-O-WAR event. I watched all the other classes and the different groups of students getting excited when their teachers called their names to be next to participate. I watched how all the other classes had their handmade Pom-Poms in their class colors using them to cheer on their classmates to pull harder on the rope so their class would win the Tug-O-War. Mariah’s class was different….none of them had any Pom-Poms like the all other classes did; their cheering wasn’t with as much enthusiasm or excitement as the other classes were. When I sat back and observed all this while I was cooling off in the shade, it was obvious this teacher wasn’t the best choice for MY daughter this school year. It hit me hard to see with my own eyes, how this teacher treated all her students on Field-Day. I felt sadness and hurt in the pit of my stomach for some of the kiddo’s in her class, my eyes filled with tears while I was sitting under the shade tree. I ‘felt’ sad for what I know some of her students felt…when they didn’t hear their name called to participate in the TUG-O-WAR or back in the classroom when their hands were raised up high, hoping to be called on and never getting picked to answer.


I thought things were the way they were in this classroom with this particular teacher because my daughter has Down syndrome. Not true, this teacher was set in her ways and her favorite students were her favorites, she just didn’t have it in her to BE FRIENDLY period! My heart broke for ALL the students that didn’t make this teachers “teacher pet” list this year! 


I put in for a teacher change shortly after Field-Day, because I just knew things were not going to get any better than how things were. My request wasn’t well received by my principal especially when I made a suggestion as to which teacher I thought would be a better match for Mariah and her unique learning challenges. I knew of this other teacher that had worked in New York schools and had Special Education background and she was friendly too! To top it off, her students during Field-Day all interacted with one another and were happy and jumping around having fun! My principal suggested another teacher, so I went for an observation into that teacher’s classroom. During that classroom observation the New to our campus Special Ed teacher was also in that classroom working with several of the students. The Gen. Ed teacher was working with small groups of students at the same time the Special Ed teacher was working with a small group for Reading. Students were being rotated between the two reading groups or sitting in their desks doing independent seat work. The students that sat at the table with the Special Ed teacher obviously had to have an IEP to be with her. I counted about 11 students that went to the Special Ed teachers table, which meant that THIS classroom was made up of mostly students receiving Special Ed Services & Support through an IEP.


When there is a classroom of about 18 students and 11 of them have IEP’s that to me is not a typical General Education classroom! Yes they were all typical students but I didn’t see any student with an outward appearance of a significant disability or syndrome like Down syndrome or Prader-Willi syndrome or CP. Were they struggling readers with a Specific Learning Disability or ADD/HD, yes I’m sure they were. Would this have been a good classroom for my daughter to be transferred into, several months into the school year? Maybe...and absolutely yes she would have benefitted from the Special Ed teacher that came into this classroom using the Wilson Phonics program as reading support.


I had to weigh what was going to be best for Mariah. Would it disrupt her too much by pulling her out of a classroom where her classmates accepted her and helped her and they wanted to be her helper? She spent more time on the computer that year while in this class, which was a good thing to some degree. Mariah is computer savvy and enjoys learning and being on the computer. I liked all the DATA that I was able to view from the computer program she was using. It was very apparent my daughter got most of her quality academic learning in her 3rd grade year via the computer program; Compass Learning Odyssey program. Her Para Professional would get Mariah set up to work on the computer and her teacher would just allow Mariah to be on the Odyssey program sometimes for hours in a day! I have the data and the times to show this! Mariah enjoys this web base computer program and does well with it. Our school district has made this internet based computer program available to all students and everyone can gain access to it for several subjects and an array of learning topics. Mariah likes the computer Odyssey program and so do I because of the easy access to the data it provides! I request it as part of her *ESY service each year now so it continues to be available for Mariah to access over the Summer time break.


Mariah’s 3rd grade teacher didn’t believe in her or teach her like she should have. She certainly didn’t show a willingness to collaborate or communicate with me as an involved parent and partner in my daughter’s education. I will always need to make sure my daughter is learning as well and as much as she can every day. Without the back and forth collaboration and communicating that any parent would want and need from their Child’s teacher ….things just were the way the way they were. I gave a lot of thought about removing her from this teacher, but her classmates were the ones that were being Mariah’s ROLE MODELS and were the ones showing her what to do. It was her classmates and friends that year that made her year great! I choose to keep her in the same classroom with those classmates because they were the ones that BELIEVED in her and helped her throughout the entire school year! Mariah was being educated in a General Education classroom with her typical neighborhood peers without disabilities. That’s what the Federal *IDEA Law mandates that Mariah is entitled to! She needed that more than any one adult teacher that didn’t see her potential or her abilities, she only saw a girl with Down syndrome. Mariah learned that year that she was accepted and had friends….real friends, friends that invited her to Birthday parties and sleep-overs. That was the year she had her first sleep-over, I was so happy for my little girl….my dreams for her being accepted and having friends was happening. She had a very big crush on 2 boys that year! Mariah was being included into her 3rd grade classroom maybe not by her teacher but by her classmates!


Having friends and being accepted into the community is what every one of us wants! In 3rd grade Mariah learned how to be a friend to many and many learned how to help Mariah do her classwork. It was a crazy year with a teacher that was unwilling to be friendly or collaborate with me. I learned what to look out for in a teacher that year. If a teacher refuses to make eye contact with me or has a hard time being somewhat friendly without it feeling fake or speaks in a negative way or tone about my daughter not being able to do something….for me, it is a sure sign that the teacher is not going to do well teaching either! Some things should just feel right and when they don’t you know it! A mother’s instinct will always tell you in your heart what is going to be best or better for your Child.


ASK FOR A TEACHER CHANGE AS SOON AS YOU KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT THE TEACHER IS PUTTING YOU OFF! – If you have signed up for a Parent/Teacher conference early in the school year and that appointment gets cancelled or moved and before you know it, weeks and maybe a month goes by before that conference is held, you will know by the time you finally meet if something is going sour. Don’t wait to see if things will change!


"A day of learning lost for our Children with Down syndrome is a precious day of learning a much needed skill! Our Children don’t have time to waste with a teacher that doesn’t want to teach them or doesn’t care to understand about their learning style. If a teacher doesn’t have high expectations for all students in their classroom and motivates all students with positive praise and recognition for doing well, don’t expect that teacher to be a good teacher for your Child." Request a teacher change ASAP during the first few weeks into a new school year, don’t wait! You know you have to do what’s right and best for your son or daughter. It’s not about hurting a teachers feelings…it’s about having a good teacher that is willing to work collaboratively with parents and praises all her/his students to success! It’s about teaching my Child…who happens to have Down syndrome and is on your student list to be in your classroom this next year! This is a true story of my life long journey to educate Mariah!


Hope this helps some of you be a wiser Advocate for your Child. If you are a teacher reading this, I hope it opens your eyes to the parent viewpoint and encourages you to be a more collaborative teacher with parents. Have higher expectations for your all your students especially those with unique learning challenges because every student needs teachers that BELIEVE & ENCOURAGE & EXPECT MORE!


*IDEA - Individual Disability Education Act
*ESY – Extended School Year